We’ve all had that moment…
You know that moment.
The moment when your blood is boiling and your head feels like it might explode. You could crush a car between your teeth with all the tension in your jaw.
But underneath that tension and anger, you have your sword. The verbal sword you’ll use to slice your opponent into little itty bitty pieces. You know just what to say to put them in their place. To stop them in their tracks. To make their face go red and their ego shrivel into nothingness.
It feels so good. For a minute.
You’re the winner. For a second.
Buuuut… then the truth comes crashing through the wall like the giant cool-aid man.
The reality is, no matter how good it might feel in the moment to put someone in their place – no matter who they are – what you call them, what you say, how you speak… It only defines you.
Nothing that comes out of your mouth will ever define who they are. It will only tell the world who you are.
It doesn’t matter what they deserve, or if they’re acting like whatever you might call them. The way you behave towards them is all about you and who you are at the end of the day.
Keep in mind it doesn’t end with how you speak to others, it also includes how you speak about them – whether or not they’re in the room.
The good news is once you realize that your reaction doesn’t have to be dependent on the way anyone else is acting it can free you up to make conscious, healthier, decisions about the way you interact with others in difficult situations.
I’m not a therapist or Tony Robbins, but I think if we have an idea of who we want to be – our ideal self – then we have the opportunity to practice consciously choosing our words, actions, and – maybe most importantly – our thoughts, to align with the person we want to be.
Keep your focus on who you want to be. Act and react based on that goal, not on actions of others.
You don’t need to be upset with how they’re acting, you don’t need to belittle them, or shame them, or make fun of them when they’re not around.
Because they’re subject to the same rule that you are: What they do, what they say, it only defines them.
Know the person you want to become, and act accordingly.
